Hello world!

So I have not been updating much... here is a quick update

1. I saw Bond over the weekend. YUM. I mean, talented. Very... talented. mmmmmmm.
2. My website is finally up! www.labohemephotography.com. Tell your friends to use me for their weddings. :)
3. I find out this week if I get a promotion at work. Im honestly ok either way, I just want to know!!!
4. My shows are about to go on hiatus... but when they return, they bring friends! Yay LOST and scrubs!
5. I have been sick A LOT lately. It's pretty ridiculous.
6. I got to spend 4 days straight with James. yay yay yay. Im sad that thanksgiving weekend is over and we are back to our opposite schedules. sadness. sigh.
7. We have a chunk of our living room wall ripped out. Ahhhhh flooding.
8. The fog is rolling in. I LOVE IT.
9. I desperately want chocolate chip cookies right now. sigh.
10. I need sleep.

sums it up for now.

my new curse

Getting the ends of books given away...


I wont lie... the Harry Potter thing scarred me. Tonight's was not so bad, but still a bummer. I have been reading Anna Karenina for some time now (the book is thick), and was just noting last night how excited I am to be nearing the end. Tonight, I was watching Gilmore Girls while editing, totally tuning out... then tune in just to hear them discussing the ending!!!!

Geez.

I hope everyone had a good Thanksgiving!!!!! I will post more happy thoughts soon. hehe.

10 years in the making

Clarity Tour.
March 6.

for me this is heaven.

:)

Wax on, Wax Off

I woke up this morning with a great deal of anxiety. I need to harness my chi!







A billion things to say and no time to write them. Sigh.

GO-bama!

Seriously people...

Daydreaming...

Things I'm itching to do right now that are almost tangible but sadly still can't afford/have no excuse for:

1. Take a trip to Seattle
2. Throw a mad hatter tea party
3. Go wine tasting
4.See the Bond double feature at Archlight on opening night
5. Have a Spectre Reunion

For now, I will keep pushing forward... feet on the ground, head in the clouds.

It's Friday!

Yay!

Putting myself out there!

As most of you know, I do photography work on the side. Seeing as my full time job often exhausts me, I have not been trying to network for months, but Im ready to get back out there again. Ok, maybe Im not quite ready energy-wise again, but I'm ready to get out of debt quicker and that can boost anybody right?

SOOOO.... Im happy to report that I have kinks worked out with my web hosting site, and should have my site up by the first week of November! As soon as that is up, I will be distributing business cards and postcards to coffee shops, college campuses, gyms (the Y has a great board for people in the community to network), etc. If you have any ideas of where else to place these, please let me know!








I will be sure to let you all know when my website is launched! :) yay.

I had a dream..

I had a wonderful dream actually, but alas I was woken up by my alarm. Upon waking up, I realized how comfortable I was. I then look over and James is sleeping soundly. All I wanted to do was hug him, roll back into my comfy spot, and fall back into my happy sleep. Days like this I curse adult life. DAMN YOU responsibility!!!!

Music to my ears

CD's I desperately want but can't afford:

Ingrid Michaelson - Be Ok
Ray Lamontagne - Gossip in the Grain
Keane - Perfect Symmetry
Copeland - you are my sunshine
Nikka Costa - Pebble to a pearl
Jason Mraz- we sing we dance we steal things
Muse - absolution
The hotel cafe presents winter songs


I dont know why I even look in my itunes store. sigh.

My brain is aging faster than my body...

I have the feeling I am forgetting something important.
I have had this feeling for about a week.

No clue. No. Clue.

oi.

Thankfully Im not alone in this... James forgot something important the other day too... the teapot. Poor teapot.

Entertainment tonight

Here is what has been keeping me entertained as of late...

Literature:
Here is the most recent update on my 2008 reading list...

Completed:
Angela's Ashes
Killing yourself to live
Wicked
High Fidelity (reread)
A Thousand splendid suns
Chronicles of Narnia 4-7 (Prince Caspian, Voyage of the Dawn treader, silver chair, last battle)
1984
Kabul
Catch me if you can (reread)
Grapes of Wrath
East of Eden (sooooooooooooooo good)

Currently reading:
Anna Karenina

Upcoming:
3 cups of tea
The Secret Garden (reread, but I barely remember it from my childhood)
The Canal House



Music:
I had forgotten how much I enjoy feeling a bass drum as if it were beating deep in my own heart. While I have never stopped enjoying live music, I have not been able to partake in it much in the recent year, and have felt my passion for it dwindle. I find it fitting that I could feel the love of a live band come back alive in me while enjoying a small and barely known group called Enation. I saw them with friends at the Whisky a go-go. While I enjoy their cd, their performance was incredible. It wasn't a high energy "show", but rather this intriguing intensity given off by the singer. Stephanie described him best with her comparison to Jeremy Enigk... something about the way he sang forced you to just stop, look, and listen.
Glorious. I was mesmerized.



TV:
Here is what I'm watching:
Heroes (sylar. david anders. plots becoming enjoyable again. so happy), OTH (laugh all you want, it is fantastical), Gossip Girl (oh manhattan), LIpstick Jungle (I wouldnt compare it to Sex and the City, but I like it), The Office (what needs to be said), Greys (has potential to be good again, but I need them to prove it).
I mostly just watch online. I still miss my tivo

Film:
Wait... are there movies being made still? I never get to go anymore. SO sad. I need to utilize netflix more.

So there we go.

oh... and how could I forget my greatest form of entertainment




we are fun :)

I had to sweep the ceiling at work.
You read that right.
Sweep... the ceiling...
Say it with me: RIDICULOUS


But at least it gave me a good photo for my 365 project

I got to spend some time tonight with Em, Jess, Alison, and sprinkles cupcakes. Delish. Also, James and I got In-n-out for dinner. Yay. Good night.

Now it's off to bed, I have to be at work at 645 tomorrow. Boo on early morning... yay on early start to weekend!

The countdown begins again

James and I after a long week. :)


I don't know if my body just didn't know how to stop moving, or if it was rebelling and asking me to take the time to do something frivolous, but I could not sleep last night. It is definitely frustrating when you finish up a weekend feeling happy and productive, only to lie awake the entire night after. I need to start my week rested. I am always tired by the end of it, so it is no good to start it that way. ugh. This was one of those mornings where you convince yourself your boss will understand, then luckily you have enough sense when your alarm goes off to accept reality. My reality this morning was I already reset my alarm to the latest I could. My phone seemed to be beeping "No snooze for you!" Hehehe.


Tonight I check in to see if I have jury duty... they waived me last week, but this week I am still on call. Part of me hopes they call me in and I sit there all day. I will be forced to edit photos. I have been a bit of a slacker in that area. Tonight there are two paths laid before me. Come home, check in, discover I am waived again, take nyquil before bed. That, or come home, check in, discover I have to report, pack bag, spend night at Em & Jess's (down street from courthouse), inevitably stay up talking, still tired tomorrow but at least for a good reason. Either plan involve GG & OTH, so I guess my night will enjoyable no matter what.

Here's to another countdown to friday... but then heck, I'll just take a well rested night...
Toodles.

sweet revenge

Um... so pretty much everyone I know has seen the Sarah Silverman/Matt Damon video. Buuuut apparently not everyone has seen the response to it. Which I thought was fantastic. So here it is for your viewing pleasure!

Work in progress

SO I know I have been MIA, but seeing as this is my first open weekend in a very long time, I have chosen to spend my time being productive. My to-do list for the home has grown very long! I spent most of yesterday shopping with Beast to prepare for my projects. Today will mostly be cleaning, organizing, and prepping for the big transitions next week :)
I will try to post before and afters, for those who enjoy them.

In other news, I finally caught up on the office! woohoo! the hilarity ensues...

Enjoy the rest of your weekend!

3 more days...

I desperately need the weekend to be here

...

You talk too much.
Maybe that's your way
Of breaking up the silence
That fills you up.
But it doesn't sound the same
When no one's really listening

We stumble into our lives:
Reach for a hand to hold.
And any wonder
We need to find
A certain something, certain.

Turn out the light
And what are you left with?
Open up my hands
And find out they're empty.
Press my face to the ground
I've gotta find a reason.
Just scratching around
For something to believe in:
Something to believe in.

You have too much.
You're spending all your time
Collecting and discovering
It's not enough.
And no matter how you try,
You never find the one you want.

We stumble into our lives:
Without a hand to hold.
And any wonder
We need to find
A certain something, certain.

Turn out the light
And what are you left with?
Open up my hands
And find out they're empty.
Press my face to the ground
I've gotta find a reason.
Still scratching around
For something to believe in:
Something to believe in.

I just need something to believe in

home sweet home (?)

I'm leaving for Oakhurst this afternoon to spend a final weekend in my stepDADs home, pick through childhood tokens to bring back into my life or choose to discard, and in many ways say good bye to the town I was raised in. My mother already left over a year ago, the home I was raised in has been sold, the pets have been relocated. That was a strange reality to deal with, but Chuck still had his place. Now he is moving and I  have no place to call home in my hometown. I am beyond happy for him, for know with him there is no loss... he will be my daddy wherever he is in this world! However, I have many bittersweet feelings about letting go of this little town. Nearly every innocent memory of my life happened there. I have so much pain associated with that town in my later years, but there is not a street or center or park that does not hold at least a flash of memories. All the wishes and efforts I have been pushing back are now sadly hanging their heads as I may have lost my chance.

Upon hearing the news, I had a flash flood of thoughts pass through my mind...

-Will I ever have another El Cid, where people smile and simply bring out my order because why waste time with menus?

-Will I ever take James to watch fireworks over the lake from under a blanket on "the rock"... share my favorite childhood memory... 

-Will I have any reason to step into the churches that raised me and gave me a chance at a whole life (given the state of my broken family)?

I know that I can go back... not having a house in this little town does not mean I can never return. However, I also feel that this move is pressing me to finally let go completely. There are reasons I left. There are reasons my dad must go.

My home now is a tiny place that I share with James, my new family. He is my home. 

But... I continually ask myself...

How do you let go of your past without feeling like you are losing an important piece of who you are?

Perhaps I'll have that answer soon

-

1,000 words

But most of those words would be interrupted by laughter.

I  managed to dodge the curse and have a fabulous birthday.

More photos to come soon.

stroke of genius

The music and mac nerds inside of me have gotten together for a play date, eaten lots of sugar, jumped on the beds, and are currently outside shaving the neighbors cat.

but perhaps I should explain myself...

For those of you who have installed the newest Itunes update, I hope you are taking advantage of the newest addition... the "Genius". I guarentee itunes will now be my closest and most trusted mix making cohort. I can see exactly what they are doing... another "genius" plan to take my money, $1.99 at a time... but I am not insulted, instead I applaud them. 

The day after...

To do list:

1. Eat leftovers from cheesecake factory. (yum)

2. Dont tell James you had leftover Keylime cheesecake so he still splits the other piece you brought home  (its their original layered with choco cake... also yum).

3. Watch Tv and/or movie

4. Iron awesome designs onto friends shirts for party tomorrow

5. Read

6. Interrupt James while he works on his article to get hug.

7. Surf internet

8. Decide on new hairstyle

9. Interrupt James again (cause you can never get too many hugs)

Can you think of anything else?

27 candles

I never thought this would be my birthday wish, but if I blew a candle out at midnight tonight, I would be wishing for my Doctor to tell me tomorrow morning that I need to stay home for the rest of the week. Makes for a sad birthday, but I really need the rest and it's the only way my boss will acknowledge that...

Maybe I shouldn't admit that outloud. The curse might find out and foil my plans yet again

At least I have Mr Hoppleton beside me to help me through this time.

Oh September....

So I am pretty sure "the curse" has reared its ugly head.

I will officially be sick tomorrow, and as I will not be allowed to take anytime off work this week to rest, I will most likely be as sick or worse for the festivities on Saturday. 

Also, instead of getting friday off, as I requested weeks ago, I will now spend it at work attending a good bye party for my most reliable and kindest staff member. 

oi. 

Guilty Pleasures

2 of my shows have returned.

hoorah.

2 more weeks til their friends join them

I injured my neck.

I slept 90 min last night.

Im about to watch tv and take muscle relaxants.

woohoo

rumbly in my tumbly

My relationships with people are the most important thing in my life.   My efforts... their motivations are naturally mixed. Some of it out of genuine love for people. Part of it stems out of my own insecurities. But I truly do care. Frankly, Im surprised God didnt form me with a funny tattoo on my belly and tiny heart on my bum (hoping most of you get the reference). I have learned a lot through my marriage (and the year leading up to it) what I value in relationships the most. Im slowly learning boundries... very slowly, and usually the hard way. I did a relational experiment this year, and while most people thought I disappeared because I was a newlywed, the truth is I was still fairly social... I just decided to hang back and see who would call. Those who showed actual follow through in the first few months are the ones whom I now spend my time with. For those relationships that I was obviously keeping afloat... I have stepped back from. I did not have the energy left to maintain so many "friendships", and I came to redefine that word over this past year. This was a tough period in my life, and I was depressed for many months, but I came out much stronger. I have not left those people behind completely, and I still will meet up with them when asked, but I doubt those relationships will ever be as strong as they once were... or at least were perceived to be. 

 I came to a painful realization today...  I can't wait to start over. There are so many friends and acquaintances that I am truly going to miss whenever we move on. However, I yearn for a day that I can form new relationships knowing what I know now. I know I will have some dear friends who will keep in contact. I know there are people who love me but will fall away... which is sad, but a part of life. Then there will be those who I believe want to be a "good" friend, but for some reason can't be... and it's time for that separation to happen.  I do know that I have a hard time accepting the state of those relationships when I am near (geographically). I can not let go. I feel great guilt about them. Even now, I judge myself as I feel relief just thinking about the chance to escape that pressure.   

 I am currently up writing this blog because I am too filled with anxiety to sleep.  I literally am lying bed with a pain in the pit of my stomach... a rumbly in my tumbly... not from normal hunger, but a much more pressing desire. I am craving the support, understanding, and grace that I have shown many times over, but rarely request in return.  I realize that many of the frustrations I have in my relationships are my own doing... I have set a standard in my relationships, and now that I am trying to raise that standard, I don't think people know what to do with that.  My expecting better in return is being viewed as my not being a considerate or tolerant  friend. It makes sense. I set myself up for this long ago.  I can smile through almost any circumstance, and can forgive most any situation... I can be rid of the anger and resentment. People just don't seem to understand that the pain does not go away with that. I am not one who will forget. There is a difference between releasing anger and remembering the hurt. I will put on the emotional oven mitts before touching a hot situation again... I will always be aware of the first time I burnt. 

I do not mean to say that I want to run away and leave my relationships behind. I'm doing my best now to be genuine and grow in those that are important to me. I just look forward to having an opportunity to building a few with much stronger foundations.

I want to focus on on a few people, to not spread myself so thin. I truly have changed during my time in SoCal... honestly, most people I know love me for who I was. Bits of "crazy Bri" are still in here... but it's time for Briana to live her life. She loves her husband and is learning to put him first. She prefers quality over quantity now. She needs time to herself. And while it terrifies her, she is learning not allow herself to be devalued. She bit by bit is learning to love herself.

She also apparently talks in the third person now. She will work on this.  :)

Cake... or death?

Last night I took James to see our favorite comedian, Eddie Izzard. Here's to smart comedy!

While he was an "off duty" transvestite this time around, we were still able to enjoy what I consider to be the most brilliant case of ADD ever. Or at least that's how he plays it off,  but you know they must be worked in at times as even his tangents are fantastically brilliant.  He is someone you would want to have over to your parties to tell crazy stories, and I love how conversational he is... his audience interactions were classic. I feel like if I ran into him on the street, I could invite him for dinner and not even be nervous. Man. That would be the greatest night ever.  Would it be too much to offer him cake? Probably... 

He claims to build more of his script on the information he gleans from the history channel, the discovery channel, and wikipedia (and would read to us from wikipedia on his iphone). He covered many important topics, such as dinosaurs, religion, dinosaur religion, language, scrabble (wee), creation, and an angry squirrel.  His comments about the upcoming election and being embarassed to admit you are American while traveling were hilariously truthful. I will also never see Bush now without thinking of Homer's dancing monkey.

If you have yet to experience the glorious cult of Izzard, and consider yourself to be:

  a) someone who is at least remotely intellectual

  b) someone who like to laugh

 

then head to netflix.com, your local video store, youtube (if you have patience) or my apartment, and watch Dressed to Kill.  Preferably with a cupcake.

My bookmark has traveled more then I have this year...

So here is where I am on my 2008 reading list...  I tend to switch things up as I go, but Im happy to be reading so much again!   Im trying to get the books from the library and not buy (saving money), so I occassionally reread a favorite novel while waiting for other books.

Completed:

Angela's Ashes

Killing yourself to live

Wicked

High Fidelity (reread)

A Thousand splendid suns

Chronicles of Narnia 4-7 (Prince Caspian, Voyage of the Dawn treader, silver chair, last battle)

1984

Kabul

In the middle:

Catch me if you can (reread)

Grapes of Wrath

Upcoming:

East of Eden

3 cups of tea

The Secret Garden (reread, but I barely remember it from my childhood)

The Canal House

Anna Karenina

I already have 14 listed for 2009. hehe.  *Sigh*   I love reading

Vacation- final days wrap up :)

It's  been a week since I returned and I keep forgetting to post the rest of my highlights... 

here we go!

-Taking Zoe to a movie and eating lots of candy (it's our tradition)

-Eating a HUGE homemade Indian dinner with the fam and 4 guests while discussing Borat intellectually ;) ha

-Making a fantastic collection of silly photos by forcing every dinner guest to smile into a magnifying glass

-Wandering through downtown portland, ME with the family. The shops, museums, bookstores, eateries.... it really is a charming city

-Beals old fashioned ice cream. mmmmmmm.

- Wandering portland again with just James

-spending 2 hours in a coffee shop with James and a crossword puzzle

-Watching slam poets and singer song writers perform in a cafe

-Spectacular July 4th fireworks over the atlantic ocean

-Stopping for fish & chips in Portsmouth, NH . They had a guinness batter. mmmmm.

-Getting in-n-out when we got home. mmm. I missed it.

I think that sums up my trip. I had a lot of fun, and I look forward to the possibility of making it out east to live in the future.... but I like being back in 70 degree weather. haah

It's definitely good to be home!

Maine Highlight, hrs 1-29

Last night I spent some time in what was the most peaceful moment of my year. I wandered onto the back porch of this beautiful old house on Bailey Island. The home that provided my family a chance to start over somewhere new and lovely. Those on this side of the island have an opportunity to experience what few on the east coast can: watching the sunset over the water. I curled up into the hammock that chair gently swings in the corner of the porch. It sits just far enough from the rail that I cant put my feet up, so I end up curling into the fetal position and swaying at the mercy of the wind. The air is fresh, and I notice that it slowly begins to rain. Between the twighlight and the movement of the water beyond the yard, it is hard to tell it is raining, but you can smell it in the air. You can faintly hear it as it connects with the grass. I sit and take it all in, not keeping track of time. my youngest sister runs out with a towl in hopes of saving her kitty from the raindrops. I smile as I watch her concerned face pop up here and there as she looks through bushes, her expression  contorted with worry and determination.  I walk out on the grass for a few moments and just stand in the rain. There are few things I love more then that. Then I call in my sister, and we join our family on the porch for our first meal all together in over year...

I have had a wonderful day altogether, but I believe that will be the highlight of my trip.

To comment on the rest, here is a brief overview of Maine so far

- Getting picked up at the Portland amtrack by Huffy & Jason (because how random is that?)

-Watching my father perform with his improvisational music/ spoken word group (my dad is cooler than your dad!)

-Seeing how huge my little sister has grown

-Picking up fresh lobster at the dock down the road

-Taking a family walk through Bailey Island 

-Eating the lobster . mmmmm. yum.

-Presenting Ani's gift (a yr membership at the Y) through my sisters and James doing the YMCA dance. :)

-Making & eating a special dessert (and learning a family tradition)

-Playing board games til early the next morning

Have new flip flops, will travel

Im currently sitting on the train on the way to Portland, Maine from Boston. My few days in beantown with James has come to an end, and we are continuing on to see the Fam. I love Boston. The fact that there is a chance we will end up there is pretty exciting. :)   Today is our one year anniversary. Yay.  haha. I must say, we are pretty fantastic. 

I'd write something more serious about this all... but Im pretty tired. ha! That post will come soon. I was not raised to be satisfied in Orange County. It's not in me.

A few highlights from Boston:

-our pilot (who flew us in and out of wisconsin, I might add) was Captain Cheddar

-We ate dinner at Wagamamas both night. My belly is beyond happy.

-We got a ridiculously good deal and was able to stay at the Westin in Copley Square. It has an insane view of the city, was walking distance to most of what we did, across the street from the T... and... they dont call it a Heavenly bed for nothin. I wanted to put it in my suitcase. :)

-my brilliant comparison of dinosaurs to wuzzles

-a plethora fantastic photos

-comparing harvard to Vanguard (O cope has nothing on their library. ha.)

-grass!!! trees!!!  The color green!!!

Things I look forward to in Maine:

-possible kyaking at bailey island

-being with the fam

-Fresh Maine Lobster (yum)

-seeing a new state!

-relaxing. my feet are angry at me after this weekend

"moore" to come soon....

-

Pretty fly...

SO...

for my first real post, I would like to share with you my new favorite website.

www.stuffwhitepeoplelike.com

It might as well be 100 of my own posts! haha

After sharing this site with some friends tonight, I decided the next thing that should go on the list of stuff white people like should actually be www.stuffwhitepeoplelike.com   as we LOVE IT.

Enjoy. en-joy.