If I could think of the biggest thing that I would thank God for besides James and this whole "giving me life" thing, I would have to say it is my ability to laugh no matter the circumstance. I am human, I have my meltdowns, I can live in a stressball fog, but overall I can smile, I can laugh, and I can find that silver lining. My current giggles come as I chat with Mary Ginty over IM, wowed by crutch carry on pouches and price comparing the Elasto-Gel Crutch-Mate I.
That's right folks. I am currently planning for another 1/4 of my life to be spent on crutches, and for the return of the infamous "das boot" (thank you Stephen). My tumor has returned and I will be heading into surgery on October 6. While I deeply wish that this was not happening, I am already finding that my cloud is as silver lined as it could possibly be when a future of clacking around on those damn aluminum sticks is heading my way.
To begin, I have been through this before, so I know what is coming. I have time to prepare, and I know HOW to prepare. We won't be leaving 5 days after surgery to drive everything we own across country. I know that I will have work once I am better. I already know how to use crutches, so awkward hospital crutch teacher man won't have an opportunity to look at my butt while he helps tie my gown and assumes my husband didn't catch what he did. See! All good things. ;) ha!
I am very blessed with amazing friends. Jen Smith has generously agreed to come live with us during my recovery and cover me at work. This makes me so happy because I love the girls and want them to be in good hands! It also will be nice to have someone to spend time with during this next venture into gimp life. My email inbox has already been flooded with offers of food, help, support, and visits. My employers have been very understanding. I love the people in my life. :)
I currently am making my lists of projects, movies, books, etc, that I have not had time for this year. I figure that should help the "lost" time feel somewhat worth it. I am open to suggestions. :) Times like this I thank God that I am a planner. I feel confident that this time will go smoothly. I feel worse about taking time away from my job than I do anything else within this situation, but even that seems to be coming together the best it can. Within 24 hours of my tumor being confirmed, so much has come through. My lists are growing: paper work to fill out, insurance/disability questions, shopping to be done. I do not think the next few months will be easy, but I know it will work out.
The fear does creep in from time to time. The surgery itself and the week after was one of the most miserable times of my life. However, I know that time will pass. I will adjust to having to fully wake up in order to safely crutch to the bathroom in the middle of the night. The weight eventually does start to come off once I start walking again. Finances will be extremely tight but as always we will get by. And so on, and so forth.
I have been asked many questions, and likely will get a few more after this. I plan to answer them. However, I first plan to watch a movie and take a nap. :) For those who were wondering, check back later and I'll share more.
I’m doing WHAT with WHO?!
4 months ago