Alive & well (relatively)

I have not felt like updating much. It is hard some days to find that balance necessary to write something blog-worthy. Often times, I know mine are not, but up they go anyways! I have been chugging along on my goals, and have had visitors, but it feels strange to post on those things right now... almost lacking in authenticity, for though they happened, they do not accurately describe life in the bigger picture at this time. There have been moments of confusion, pain, and an overall slap in the face by the unfairness of life, but again, that doesn't tell the whole story (and I'm tired of complaining).

Life is sharp and overwhelming. That same cold & crisp air that refreshes me is also unpleasantly piercing my lungs when I push myself (or more frequently, am pushed by circumstance) a bit too far. To quote one of my favorite recent reads, "What I need is the dandelion in the spring". Hope. All that jazz. Trust, that I am growing, that there is something deeper underneath all of this. Something that I can't quite place, and maybe I never will.

I'm purposely a bit vague here. My prayers and desires have been a bit muddled, but as they become more clear, I am wary to share them publicly. I'm growing more protective of myself. To my benefit, or to my detriment? That I will have to wait and see.