Sunkday

Sunday Funkday. I am in a funk.

Today I had a brush with reality that I generally like to avoid. I received a piece of good news, and because of the tone of my voice upon reading it, James immediately assumed that it was about a specific friend. When I asked why he assumed it was about that person, he said it was the tone I always used for them. I realized something after... that is the tone I use for people whom I feel deeply blessed to share my life with, whom I trust completely, and , do not have lingering feelings of pain over. They are people who are so kind & thoughtful that I can't help but use that tone (filled with unadulterated joy) when something good comes to them. I also realized I have used it very rarely these past few years, to the point where James can narrow down who I am speaking about in an instant. This also made me think about how I am far less stressed being at such a distance from most people in my life. This was followed with admitting yet again that the bulk of my overall experiences within my friendships before moving have given me no desire to be social here.. and not because I have enough already, but rather I do not want to put myself through it all again.

Needless to say... I am bumming out. I am happier and more at peace now within my current situation, so I know I will bounce back soon. It is just hard not to dwell on this from time to time




I have posted this before... but a reminder is always good