Just another manic monday

I have realized that while I made a commitment to blogging on Sundays, I tend to not get around to them until Monday. :) It is usually at some point later Sunday evening that I remember I never blogged, start heading to blogger, remember my Monday's don't start until 2:30pm, and then decide to choose sleep. I wish I would remember to choose sleep more often during the week!

I have a big week coming up. After signing off of this post, I will be eating breakfast and diving into my class. The fact that I enjoy a math class is beyond me! :) I hope to be left with a little time to clean, to prepare for work this week (3 back to back 11 hour days ahead), and of course fit in preparation for my LOST themed 365 photo tomorrow (nerdy but awesome). Late Thursday night I will be picking up another visitor at the airport! I have been so blessed in this, I still average a visitor per month. Upon her departure, I return home to likely do laundry and scramble before another week begins. Life is busy, and has been a bit emotional lately, but in the midst of this all, I am continually finding myself at peace... or at least taking steps towards that.

While I am not one to quote scripture a lot, I have been thinking about Phillippians 4:6-8 recently.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God7.And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

8Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

This week has caused me to think a great deal about this peace that passes all understanding. I realize many may disagree with what I am about to say, but I do not feel like this always means that you will suddenly find yourself in this happy or peaceFUL trance despite what is going on around you. What is it that causes us to believe that just knowing God will make life easier? I was in a situation where found myself with a knotted stomach, a broken heart, and yet in the midst of that I had a peace. I'm sure this description does not sound like a way to define peace, but it was there. My pain was not magically lifted because I made a wise but difficult choice and God suddenly thought I deserved to not experience the natural response... I just don't believe that was part of his nature. I began thinking about how the decisions to direct your life towards v.8, and to choose to not only attempt to think upon those things, but also surround yourself with them, will not cut out the pain. In fact, getting there means taking a harsh look at yourself (never enjoyable), and often making changes that are seriously uncomfortable. That peace I spoke about was one that I truly could not understand... how am I feeling so calm and at ease over something that is simultaneously breaking my heart? I realized I was experiencing a deep sadness, but not an overwhelming anxiety. I was mourning the outcome of my situation, but also felt a release knowing that it helped me take a step towards truth.

Does this make sense to anyone else?