They will know we are Christians by our....

...Pride?
...Arrogance?
...Judgement?
...Fear?
...Lack of self awareness?
...Hypocrisy?
...Naiveté?






I have been thinking a lot recently about how Christians are viewed. I hear many excuses for it... the media paints Christians as crazy, it's the minority who is hateful and shout louder than the rest, people are putting their issues/guilt on Christians, the list goes on. While I think there is some truth to those, I believe it would be unwise to ignore the rest. Stereotypes are there for a reason. I do not think that those who are hurting the message of Christ are the minority. We can't blame those "crazy christians" who are shouting loud, if anything we should be shouting louder, and shouting a message of love. If that was truly at the heart of our lives, and evident in our actions, then i do not believe we would be viewed with such contempt. I know so many people who agree with the bible, but then can't bear to take our faith seriously because of "the people that Christianity produces". Even Ghandi has been famously quoted saying "Your Christians are so unlike your Christ". There is much more to this than we all seem to want to admit. Yet, instead of trying to fix the problem, we seem to try to become the victims instead. We encourage each other that having so many against us means that we are doing something right. I just have a hard time wrapping my head around it all.


I expressed before that I am tired of hearing "love the sinner, hate the sin", because I do not think we know how to separate the two. To really "love the sinner", our immediate responses should not be disgust, insults, or judgement. To truly love the sinner should lead people to respond with compassion, empathy, being broken as we witness the brokenness of others. I am heavy hearted when I observe the immediate need to judge others. Yes, to judge is inevitable, and is not always a bad thing. However, this judgement I see is quick and harsh. I watch (and participate) in discussions about people where it can take endless back and forth; pointing out people flaws, quoting scripture to back up why the individual/group in question is wrong, speaking out against these people/groups, and only in the end are many battered into saying they deserve love (but of course, hate for the sin), and that they aren't bad all around, and that OF COURSE there is good in them (why would anyone question that), and so on. I just feel that what is at the heart of someone is obvious in their initial reactions. We, as Christians, are so trained in Christianese that we feel we can speak as harshly as we like as long as we end saying "oh, but God loves them, and so do I". This often is simply rattling off what we "need" to say. I just find this to be so backwards. It is no wonder that people do not want to hear about God's Love when it is simply tacked onto a list of why they are wrong. We may not want to admit it,
but that is very telling about what is truly in our hearts.

I believe that we are supposed to hold people accountable. However, this is done through relationship. It is through that relationship, and that genuine love we build within a relationship, that we are given the right to judge and hold those in our lives accountable, and hopefully they can feel free to do that in return. No doubt, even within relationships, there are some people who do not want to hear the truth and can only consider criticism to be mean. To/about those people... I do not know what to say. I just do not understand how we feel we can place ourselves above other so quickly.

The superiority is something that continually baffles me. Yes, it is true, I believe that my faith is the "right one", and that it holds truth. However, I have been reminded time and again what that means. It means that I believe that I am so flawed that had to have a saviour. Someone needed to make a huge sacrifice for me because I am incredibly broken. How can I believe that, and somehow also feel that I am superior for believing that? It makes no sense!

Allow me state the way that I view sin. I believe that God made a list of Do's and Don'ts. However, I do not believe that list says how "good" a person is. I believe that God cares deeply for us all, and he knew what habits and behaviors could bring us much pain and suffering, and he asked we do not do those because he wants us to have the best life possible. I do not believe God asks for us not to do things for no reason. I also know that God loves us no matter what we do. I believe he hurts when we do not listen to his advice, but that he hurts for us. The lives we lead are not the lives that he intended, but they are our choices. Seeing that we all makes colossal mistakes, who are we to approach others about their sin with anything other than love and grace? This is not always fluffy and pink with dancing bunnies... love can show itself in many different ways. It may be uncomfortable, and it may be difficult, but if it comes from a place of empathy and wanting to help, and TRULY caring for someone, that will be obvious in the delivery. It is what is at the heart of these matters that is important. That is what we should be showing the world. I truly think that if we lived out that example, and did not distort it so heavily, we would be seen very differently by the world.

This has been on my heart for many months now, but I was reminded again of this topic during church last week. We ended our service singing the hymn "They will know we are Christians by our Love". My heart sank as I read this, because I did not feel it spoke much truth anymore. The words are so simple and beautiful. Please read through this and let the words sink in. It is my hope and prayer that one day I can sing this with confidence and joy.


We are one in the Spirit, we are one in the Lord
We are one in the Spirit, we are one in the Lord
And we pray that all unity may one day be restored
And they'll know we are Christians by our love, by our love
They will know we are Christians by our love

We will work with each other, we will work side by side
We will work with each other, we will work side by side
And we'll guard each one's dignity and save each one's pride
And they'll know we are Christians by our love, by our love
They will know we are Christians by our love

By our love, by our love

And they'll know we are Christians by our love, by our love
They will know we are Christians by our love

We will walk with each other, we will walk hand in hand
We will walk with each other, we will walk hand in hand
And together we'll spread the news that God is in our land
And they'll know we are Christians by our love, by our love
They will know we are Christians by our love

By our love, by our love

And they'll know we are Christians by our love, by our love
They will know we are Christians by our love

Love is patient, love is kind
Never boasts, not full of pride
Always hopes, always trusts
The evidence of Christ in us

Crisis of Faith?

Warning... today has been a bit much... welcome to my ramblings.


This morning, my roommate and I were discussing how unfortunate it is that we sometimes can't separate an actor from the roles they play, and how one inevitably taints the other. Sara could not enjoy Katherine Heigl in any roles for awhile, because she associated her with someone who cheats with a married man. I started to seriously dislike Lucas on One Tree Hill because he is a douche in real life. Or perhaps you even like the person, and their character, but the mess around them makes you cringe?

I have discovered God, in a strange way, is my ruined celebrity right now. I find myself avoiding Him because his followers drive me crazy. I am constantly saddened and embarrassed by the ignorance, complacency, and selfishness that I see in the church. Let me take that back... I have not seen it inside the church so often lately, but more like when we escape it's walls and are living out our every day lives.

I feel horrible, because it is not by any fault of God that I am pulling away. I in no way doubt what I believe to be true about Christ, and what I have found i the bible. I am simply so sick of His name being attached to the ridiculousness around me that I almost cringe when I hear it spoken. This is not how it should be. I need to find a church and be connected into a community that reminds me that there are people out there who believe and put into practice the teachings of Christ. I need to be reminded there are others who feel this ache and who want more. I need to know people are just as embarrassed as I am. I feel a bit alone and lost in all of this right now. I get angry and realize it is only covering the confusion and disappointment, so I try not to let it bubble over too much... although then I hit times like these where I feel near panic attack over the question :"WHY!?". Why are people like this? Why do people not CARE about those less fortunate. Why do people not care about those around them beyond what those people can do for them? AND... why do people think they are so much more caring simply because they are Christian? When did people forget a large portion of "becoming christian" is essentially saying "I suck and I need help" (to put it ever so eloquently). AND WHO decided that we are somehow better, more talented, more giving, more selfless than others in this world, simply for admitting we need a higher power and believing in it? When did we forget that EVERYONE is made in the image of God, and EVERYONE has beauty/talent/value... I am ranting. I know. I am just so tired of it all.


I feel like I am in some twisted religious monopoly game where everyone is trying to just do the best for themselves, outsmart everyone else, show no mercy, and God is nothing more then a Get Out of Hell Free card that people keep tucked away for when that time comes. I'm tired of playing :(

I miss having peers who care about the same things that I do. That actually care, don't just hear stories and say "aw buddy" or "oh boo" or "that's the world we live in". I have so few left in my life that truly want to not just see a difference, but make a difference. I know I am nowhere close to alone in this.. i just wish I could be around people with the same passion.

Through is all, I know God is still there. I don't doubt it. In fact, it makes me see our need for Him even more. I just am having trouble separating Him from all the bullshit. It isn't fair, it isn't wise, and I will find my way back... I always do. I just don't know what to do for now... ugh.